So I don't have anyone to vent to today...well at least not yet. I am having lunch with a girlfriend so she may get in on a little of it. But actually I am embarrassed that I feel this way and so I am really not going to divulge what I have a problem with, only my feelings, in hopes that I will feel like it is stupid enough to just get over it. So I have a little bit of a competitiveness in me...and it usually can stay inside. I usually get over it or just push it away but lately I have been feeling it rear it's very ugly head. On a specific subject (that I am still not going to mention, because it really is silly) that I am not really that good at anyway but am feeling very territorial over, and very competitive lately. Yuck! Usually I am not the best at really anything so it's not like I have finally met my match, I guess this match just makes me feel pretty insignificant in my abilities. Actually I think I have a problem more with feeling like I am oblivious to how not good I am at something, and everyone else knowing it but me. I REALLY hate that. I think this competition is so much better than me it makes me feel that feeling, like those people on American Idol that all of their friends tell them they can sing when in reality it is very obvious to everyone except for them that they cannot. I hate feeling this way, either I need confidence, or I need to get over myself. Not sure which one yet. Oh well, on a side note, the previous post, should now be labeled currently on its way to my doorstep. Retail therapy helps a little don't you think! :) In fact, I'm feeling better already imagining myself wearing my pink high heels! I knew this would help :)
I got a chance to ichat with Lana today. She is SO precious. I wish all of you could talk with her and see how sweet she is! She is currently back home and will only receive her chemo out patient for now. (Gotta love children's hospitals for knowing that children need to be at home!) Her hair is beginning to fall out but she is doing really well on the chemo. It seems to not be making her too sick. (Keep praying for that!) Also, she is surrounded with presents from friends and family, so she is keeping busy. She will go through another round of chemo before they do some more scans to see how much the chemo is working. Some good news is that before she started chemo, she was having a lot of leg pain, so much she was saying she didn't want to walk, now she seems to not have much pain at all. Also, before the chemo she never really ate very much, ever.. (the type of cancer she has can affect her digestive system). Now her mom says she is eating more than she has ever seen her eat! That is awesome news! Please continue to pray for healing and that these signs are of the miraculous works that God has done in her body. Thanks for caring! (To hear more about Lana's story click here and here)
so i have been drooling over this dress at one of my fave new websites http://www.modcloth.com/ they have THE cutest clothes (besides my other fave forever21) at mostly reasonable prices. they are geniuses because they add new items each day to keep you coming back for more. they also add authentically vintage articles of clothing and if you want it you have to be on top of your game because they go fast seeing as there would only be one of it's kind. so all this to say, i finally got the dress. they had been out of stock for a while and i kept it on my wish list just hoping they would get more in. well today MUST be my lucky day because the dress was back in stock.(disregard the fact that my work laptop hard drive crashed today and there will be no way to resurrect any of the million bazillion files i created over the last 3 months i have been working there) so as i was trying to think of how i was going to justify this seemingly reasonable purchase to my loving husband a little cloud popped up above my head. it had a reenactment of a few weeks ago when i got a bonus check and my dear dear other half said "you can use it for whatever you want, you don't have to spend it on bills or that new tv i want, use it for something you want", a smile began to creep across my face and my eyes twinkled a little. even though we did get that tv he wanted there should be at least enough leftover for this darling dress. this is not all for me he does get to enjoy when i wear it, so this is not a totally selfish want (justification?.....check) so here it is...SO cute. i cant wait to wear it on valentines this year. im sure he will plan a wonderful romantic evening out on the town (a girl can dream right?) and i will get to wear this cute little thing....oh yeah and the stole was just calling my name too...im sure there is some money left over for that too!