Thursday, January 28, 2010

I feel like complaining Thursday

So I don't have anyone to vent to today...well at least not yet. I am having lunch with a girlfriend so she may get in on a little of it. But actually I am embarrassed that I feel this way and so I am really not going to divulge what I have a problem with, only my feelings, in hopes that I will feel like it is stupid enough to just get over it. So I have a little bit of a competitiveness in me...and it usually can stay inside. I usually get over it or just push it away but lately I have been feeling it rear it's very ugly head. On a specific subject (that I am still not going to mention, because it really is silly) that I am not really that good at anyway but am feeling very territorial over, and very competitive lately. Yuck! Usually I am not the best at really anything so it's not like I have finally met my match, I guess this match just makes me feel pretty insignificant in my abilities. Actually I think I have a problem more with feeling like I am oblivious to how not good I am at something, and everyone else knowing it but me. I REALLY hate that. I think this competition is so much better than me it makes me feel that feeling, like those people on American Idol that all of their friends tell them they can sing when in reality it is very obvious to everyone except for them that they cannot. I hate feeling this way, either I need confidence, or I need to get over myself. Not sure which one yet. Oh well, on a side note, the previous post, should now be labeled currently on its way to my doorstep. Retail therapy helps a little don't you think! :) In fact, I'm feeling better already imagining myself wearing my pink high heels! I knew this would help :)

1 comment:

  1. Feelings are what make you human. No matter how ugly you may think they are, it's how you feel and that's ok. It's when you compromise your values to deal with said feelings that it may come in question and even then it's between You and God. Acknowledging feelings is what strengthens you and gets you thru your conflicts! You are a woman of great character and I have always admired you for that. Don't ever be afraid or ashamed of how you feel!