Ok, so I am a little excited. I thought I might just do a back flip earlier at the Pottery Barn Outlet store. If you know me, you probably know I LOVE a really good deal and most of the things in my house I have found at crazy prices. We just can't afford to buy expensive things right now so we have to be resourceful. I am a bargain shopper to the max, I love hunting for the best deal, and love thrift stores, flea markets, and garage sales. So I have to share this story from today. So I went to PB outlet today and wasn't expecting to buy anything, I just love to look. I usually like to check out the rugs because I love big fluffy rugs and would love to find a good deal but even at the sale price can't afford the ones from PB. I saw a rug that was a zebra rug, except it was ivory and white and it was a real hide. I thought it was a really cool piece and love finding really unique things for my house. I checked out the tag and it was still about 119.00 and that is still too much. So I thought next door at West Elm, their rugs are 60% off. I wonder if I can find the same rug over there. So my Mom and I went next door and there it was, lying on top of the rug pile. I think my exact words were "No. Freakin. Way.!!!" So I grabbed it and carried it up to the register. The lady rang it up and said it was 795.00. So I told her that I had found it next door for 119.00 and could she check with a manager. The manager came over and her words still ring in my ears "It's your lucky day, the rug was misplaced, it is 47.95" AAAAHHHHH!!!! Heck yeah! I was so excited! So was my Mom as she proceeded to tell everyone in the store what a good deal we had found. (Not only was I embarrassed but I was afraid some crazy woman was going to follow me out to my car and tackle me for the awesome rug I had just found.) Fortunately, I made it home, safe and sound and so did my purchase of the year. So I thought I would share a picture of it's new home. It doesn't match exactly but hey, I have an eclectic style anyway!
i think i am a few thoughts away from an anxiety attack. i have so many exciting things going on in my life right now (some of them very trivial) but my mind likes to run away and get me really worked up. for instance, i have a sweet friend that i am hosting a shower for and i am so excited about getting everything together and i want it to be perfect. it is going to be SO fun! normally that would be fine but add that excitement to the mix and i think i may explode. i am leaving the day after the shower for cancunmexico. i earned this trip (all inclusive, might i add) with my amazing arbonne business. i am really excited about this vacation except for the flying part. i hate flying. i am already trying to talk myself into getting on the plane. this thought alone increases my breathing and my heart rate. you all know i have the job thing going on, which is even more excitement with a little anxiety tagged on that i am trying to fight because i know i shouldn't be anxious, but isn't it a constant battle!? then here is the kicker, which really is not a big deal, it may seem so silly to you but i am playing violin at church this sunday. i have played once already and was really nervous but i only played on two songs. this week i am playing seven....SEVEN!!!! but only if i can stop shaking long enough to have a beautiful sound come out. (hold on while i puke in my trash can) i have rehearsal tonight. i am nervous about rehearsal. what is wrong with me? i really hope i don't just pass out on stage sunday. that would definitely be something that would happen to me. last sunday i was even getting nervous just thinking about playing a week from then. i am going to rehearsal early tonight to practice before practice. i also am pretty sure i have lost some weight over the last few days. my pants are practically hanging off of me. i know you are probably thinking "that lucky little...." but it's really not a good thing for me. if anything, i need to gain weight, if i lose weight i will just look gross. gross!! okay, i am going to go practice some deep breathing techniques before i fall out of my desk chair. i will update about the j-o-b when i hear something and i will post pics of cancun and the shower soon too!!
I have a meeting tonight with some of the people that will be deciding if I get this job that may be the whole reason God is moving me from my current job. I want to be excited about a new job opportunity because it keeps me from being upset about losing my current job. It also gives me some hope for the future. But I am getting nervous. I really do trust that God is going to take care of everything, but I am starting to get my hopes up for this new opportunity and I really want it to work out. I also don't have a clue what the timeline for actually starting this new job is. I have been encouraged by many to get on unemployment (cringe) but I just get sick to my stomach even thinking about having to do it. I don't know who all really reads this blog. Obviously if you follow me I expect that you do, or if you are commenting often, but if you are reading this I just want to ask that you say a quick prayer for me and my meeting tonight and the opportunity that is before me. It seems so right, it seems to make so much sense, could it really be this easy? I really hope so. I am actually scared that it is too good to be true. But our God is not too good to be true, so I don't want to doubt Him. Uuuggghh I'm so confused. Isn't it all so easy to understand after the fact? Waiting is the HARDEST thing for me, by far. I hope that soon I will be able to post that I have gotten the position and that I will be able to share with you what it is. If you know me, I already know you will be so excited for me!! Pray for me tonight at 6 for my meeting if you remember! Thanks for caring blog friends :)
Sometimes change happens when you least expect it. Yesterday it hit me like a ton of bricks as the words "I just can't afford to keep you here" came out of my boss's mouth. The job that I struggled so much to decide to take. I feel like I gave up so much to commit to being a part of this new company, that was nothing like what I had ever done before, that had nothing to do with children, that meant me giving away part of my heart to move on from the children I was with, that was a commitment to a friend to fight it out spiritually and physically to help this business succeed, that ended so unexpectedly it took the breath out of me. I figured even if the ship was sinking, I was going to go down fighting until the end. I never expected to be put on a life raft and sent the other direction. Yesterday I felt like Izzy on Grey's Anatomy when she woke up from having her tumor removed and had amnesia. Every few minutes it would run through my head "did that really just happen?", "wait a minute did that really just happen?". Emotions filled my soul as I tried to sort through the questions, the words that I heard, the words I didn't hear, the scenarios, who I was going to tell, how I was going to tell them, what I was going to do next. It was made very clear that this was not rejection and it only makes the most sense at this point if a cut has to be made, but I was deceived in thinking that I was safe. Deceived by my own thinking none the less. Everyone I told I became the one comforting them. "No, really, it's okay, God will take care of us I know." As I think of others who have been out of a job for months even a year because of the economy. But the thing that comforted me the most is that God has perfectly orchestrated this and I know without a doubt that He is in this. No matter what opportunity came my way, I could not walk into my boss's office and say "hey I have a better opportunity so I won't be a part of this company anymore". I had too much invested in the relationship and the business and my commitment to it, to be able to do such a thing, no matter how great the offer. So if God wanted me somewhere else, if He wanted to move me, He had to move me. So I am being moved, as I type. Filtering the thoughts and emotions that are stale from yesterday because they have been run through my head a thousand times. I can't let Satan's lies in though, and boy does he want to tell me that I was wrong, and that I am not good enough, and that I was not good enough, and that this is pure rejection. But I am going to fight it because my God is so much bigger than that, and has SO much more for me if I can still my mind and my heart and let Him move me. How humbling, that He would want to use me somewhere else so bad that he would plan this before I even had a notion. He already has things in the works that may be exactly where I will be moved. I am truly in awe of Him and how much He loves me right now and how He has sent me a raft to take me to higher ground. Praise Him!